Trust is hard for most of us. We’ve been hurt, lied to, betrayed; used, abused, and we’ve learned the down side of trusting is pain. So we are reluctant to do it again for fear we’ll experience pain again. And then something happens.
We have to have surgery. We find ourselves thrust into a position where we must trust or suffer loss–of affection, endure alienation, or some other loss that is significant to us. We’re not eager to do either, and so we end up at war with ourselves: Do I dare to trust, or suffer loss?
It’s not an enviable position. And during the times of year when we gather with many others, we’re most apt to feel the pricks or stings of the decision. One thing I know, and that is absence does not always make the heart grow stronger. Well, maybe it does. We learn we are able to endure more without that endurance souring our entire lives and making us bitter. But the heart still aches or breaks and crumbles. It just doesn’t consume our every waking thought, ruin every joy, steal all happiness. It just is there, and we acknowledge and accept it. So in that way, I suppose the heart is stronger. Still, it’s not shatterproof.
I think that’s a manifestation of grace. A few days ago, I had to face something that to me was Herculean. Hubby said I should avoid it. Good friends said I should avoid it. It would have been easier to avoid it, and I was tempted to do that. Actually, I made a stab at avoidance. But something down deep told me not to take that road. That it wouldn’t cure just postpone something I had to face. So I did what I wish I could tell you I should have done first: I hit my knees.
When I got off them, I made a conscious decision. God brought me to this. He’d bring me through it. What came would be met head on and I chose to trust that His will was the right way to go. Whatever happened, it’d be fine. He was on it.
And so that’s what I did. The expression of total faith in His decision, in following His will worked out in a way I don’t claim to understand. What I can tell you is He totally resolved the situation in twenty-four minutes. Twenty-four minutes. His timing, not mine. His will, not mine. His solution, not mine.
It was a solution I couldn’t have expected or considered possible. One I didn’t ask for because it never occurred to me. Yet it worked out for my greater good and was the best possible solution.
I walked away with a deeper understanding of trust. With a deeper understanding of “knees first.” And with a clearer vision of what happens when you place your trust in the right hands–His.
And aas I walked away, whispering my thanks inside my head, a phrase I’ve often heard played through my mind: Little miracles everywhere.
True, that. I’d just experienced it. In a time of uncertainty came truth and trust.
The world has a lot of serious problems. Many of us have serious problems. But we shouldn’t lose heart or hope because little miracles are all around us. Nothing is too big or too small for God, and when we appeal to Him, He hears and answers in His way and His time.
I have to tell you. I’ve been really worried about our world and our people for a long while now. But I know things can turn around–I’ve witnessed such turns. He honors our free will, of course, so we must ask Him to intercede. But if we do, I trust He will. There’s serious reassurance and comfort in knowing it. And for that, I’m grateful.
I’ve often wondered how people can seem serene and tranquil in the face of upheaval and chaos. Not those walk through life unconscious or just focused totally on themselves. Good people who truly care about the well being of others. I’ve wondered how they can be so calm and at ease when everything is such a mess and what’s right and fair and honest is flipped upside-down. I think this might be how. I think they’ve learned to hit their knees first and then trust God.
He did say that if we turned back to Him and His ways, He’d heal our land. So I’m thinking this could certainly be it. And, of course, He can’t heal us or our land without our request or turning to Him. He gave us free will and He’d have to violate it without our request. That He won’t do. So this fits… I’m going to study on that a bit more, but I know in my heart I’m on to something huge there.
Just as I know there are little miracles everywhere. They’ve been there all along. We just haven’t noticed.