KNOWING WHAT WE NEED #1
We’re curious creatures. We listen to others and can tell them exactly what they need. We can watch world events, and we know what needs to be done. We can home in on what we’re told in even the most complicated of challenges and come up with solutions in a snap. And yet we often don’t give ourselves the focus we give those things to determine a very important thing that impacts us in every way on every level: what we need.
The result is that we become walking wounded. We hobble and limp through life never feeling quite content or fulfilled or (dare I say it) happy.
The thing is all of that and more is there for us. But we have to choose to embrace it. On the surface we want those things, and if someone asked, we’d say of course we do, and yet we don’t determine first, what is lacking or out of balance in our lives that prevents us from having those things and we don’t take action to fix it. Often we do plenty of complaining about what’s wrong, but we don’t define the source.
That’s a huge mistake that has far reaching consequences. Fortunately, it is one we can fix. We need only choose to and to determine what we need.
Well, duh, I hear you saying. If we knew how to determine it, we would. (See I have been here, too. :)) Here are a few givens to consider:
THINGS WE NEED
1. WE NEED A POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT.
There is no way to measure accurately all that is created from a positive or negative environment. It is safe to say that because of those silent triggers that set off other reactions in us, there will be a substantial impact on things we expect and on those we didn’t and really can’t expect until they happen.
What we can know definitively is that it’s hell being around negativity. Something always being wrong, nothing but doom and gloom can suck the life right out of you. How can you be excited or enthused, focusing on loving anything including your life and work if all you hear is negative comments?
Bringing this to a personal level, I once overheard a woman commenting to another at a wake, which in the south, is a time people come to the funeral home to pay their respects to the family and/or departed, before the actual funeral. Anyway, I was at this wake and I heard one woman tell another that she was sure the deceased willed himself to die to get away from his bitching wife.
I was twelve years old, and I’ve never forgotten it–and don’t nag my darling husband because of it! Often over the years, it has made me think, and whenever I encounter someone who is extremely negative I think of this. If I can help the person become more positive, I do. If not, I get away from that negative person and that situation.
Developing a “go down that road if you choose, but I’m not going with you” attitude is a healthy one. It’s difficult if not impossible to attract healthy, positive things when you’re in a negative environment.
Be selective about those with whom you associate. Friends and associates at work, all of those in your circle. Don’t feed your fears and doubts with negative thinking or actions. Things like jealousy, peer pressure, greed, the fear of there not being enough (there is always enough good for everyone; honest!)–will drag you down. Will suck you in until your view is as contaminated and polluted as that of those in your environment.
Does that mean you play Pollyanna? Ignore reality? Absolutely not. It means if your reality is contaminated or polluted, clean it up. Dust it off, scrub it up, or sweep it out.
Whiners and complainers are abundant and we’re all subjected to and vulnerable to them. So on this we must be diligent. No one ever changed anything for the better by whining and/or complaining. Pity parties don’t bring solutions to challenges, either.
This is fact. Not supposition. If you have a challenge or are presented with one, acknowledge it, by all means. But immediately turn your focus on finding a solution.
Challenges typically arise with the subtlety of a fog horn. You don’t have to dwell on them to know they’re there. Dwell instead on the solution. Positive, concrete action that you can take to correct the challenge.
It’s like anything broken. You do what you can to fix it. If it can’t be fixed, you accept it. If forgiveness is required, you give or receive it (if it’s offered, if not, accept that, too). And then you press on.
Remember, you can change a negative into a positive. Identify the negative. Determine what you must to make it a positive. Then take the necessary action to effect the change.
That last part–ACTION–is where many of us get lazy or hesitant or resistant. Without taking the necessary action, we’re in for more of the same. That’s the bottom line.
A positive environment is one that fosters what you want fostered to create the life and quality of life you want.
Think of it this way: you’re an orchid. Capable of incredible beauty and inspiration–being a blessing. Now you have a choice to make. You can live in a hot house, out in the cold, or in a healthy environment.
In which do you think you can best embrace beauty and inspire?
That brings us to detaching and attracting, which I’ll cover next time in Part 9 of MISTAKES WE MAKE.
©2007, Vicki Hinze