A short time ago, I wrote a post on expectations. In the past few days, it seems it’s a theme for authors and others to NOT expect good things in their lives, so I’m mentioning it again–and expectations is what is on the mind as I write this.
We all know about self-fulfilled prophesy and sayings like “where the mind goes, the body follows.” But apparently too few of us are really getting the message, otherwise the prevalence of non-expectations wouldn’t be so out-of-whack–and it is!
When did we become a group or individual people who focused on what we couldn’t do, what wouldn’t happen, or why we’re ill-equipped to the point we feel incapable or unwilling to even make an effort? When did we lose our faith in us? Our spirit and determination? When did we settle for less than we’re capable of doing?
What happened to our drive to do the undoable, the improbable, the impossible?
And whatever happened to it, can we undo the damage and get back to a place where we believe not in what we can’t accomplish but in what we can accomplish? Can we be confident enough to take an interim “maybe I can; I’ll find out” step?
Yesterday, I spent the morning with two of my angels. One is four, the other 20 months. I am admittedly gaga over these two, but it isn’t just those bonds that mesmerize me. It’s watching them interact.
The oldest is confident and observant. She quickly catches on and draws conclusions. She commits. She forms opinions. She decides what she thinks. She’s also patient with the little one. Makes allowances not excuses and doesn’t permit her to run roughshod over her. That’s significant.
The younger is a little daredevil, an adventurer. And if the elder can do it, then the younger tries her best to do it, too. Things far, far beyond her capabilities. Often she fails, but it doesn’t seem to phase her. She just gets up and tries again–and sometimes she does these things that she’s considered too little to do.
I mention these things about the kids not because they’re unusual. I mention them because they aren’t. Kids don’t know how to lie, they learn it. They don’t know how to hate or innately embrace other nastiness that stems from negative input; they learn those things, too. More’s the pity. But what is most interesting, in that it’s totally germane, is that kids don’t know what they can’t do until someone tells them. So they often do things they didn’t know they couldn’t–and actually do them.
Kids are empowered by that in a way that adults are not. Maybe it’s because we try and fail. History and experience have beaten us down.
Maybe it’s the fear of failure or success or the consequences (anticipated or not) that we could or would suffer if we tried and it didn’t work out.
Or maybe we’ve just allowed ourselves to listen too much to what everyone else says can or can’t be done and we’ve stopped thinking for ourselves and giving ourselves the option to try new things. Unlikely things. Impossible things.
You know, someone somewhere considered everything impossible until someone did it.
So why shouldn’t we go for those pipe dreams? Dare to reach for the brass ring? Tackle the impossible?
Eventually, someone is going to have enough of that kid-can-do spark in them to go for it and accomplish it. So why not you–or me?
Yes, we might fail.
But so what? And guess what.
We might not.
Tags: expectation, anticipation, fear, failure, success, effort, courage, bravery, writer’s library, vicki hinze, author, writer, novelist, books, reading